We had just spent the day at the zoo, and took a freeway exit we usually don't take to get home. It's a pretty exit, driving through woods and farms, past the girls' school. Less traffic, more countryside. A road we have taken many times before. This drive was to be different.
We started seeing signs for an alpaca farm. We passed the first sign and disregarded it. The second sign came and Matt looked interested, I was not comfortable leaving the road we knew to drive deeper into the woods on roads we had not been before. By the third sign, Matt was all in and promised we would turnaround no questions asked if I felt the least bit nervous. So off we went, down a road we had not traveled, in search of an alpaca farm.
Turned out to be so cute! Super clean, friendly people, fuzzy animals. Alpaca shaped cookies, alpaca yarn, alpaca coloring pages. And not 10 minutes away from the house! Who knew it was National Alpaca Week? The owners were all too happy to talk about all things alpaca.
No scary racist people in sight! See, I am constantly over thinking, over analyzing everything. Including our safety. It doesn't matter where we are, urban or rural, small city or big city, wherever we are in this country, we encounter people who see me and the girls as less than or if in my own community of color, a sellout. We get looks, we get called names, we get weird and inappropriate questions. I've been driving and almost ran off the road. If I'm in the passenger seat, other drivers curse at Matt. Not every time we walk out the door mind you, but enough times to make me weary about driving on unfamiliar back roads to an alpaca farm run by people we've never met. I want the girls to be brave and I also want them to be safe, and figuring out how to help them assess what's safe, who is trustworthy, and when they should take risks is an ongoing conversation and re-evaluation of our values and beliefs and capacity to believe in the innate goodness of most people.
Taking that road to the alpaca farm for Matt was a no-big-deal kind of decision from the first sign we drove past, and that itself is a certain level of privilege. For me, no less than 20 different scenarios played out in my mind by the time we hit that third sign about the possibilities in front of us. I'm glad we went, I'm glad I pushed beyond the fear and anxiety. And...I still look at jobs in other countries all the time! I wonder if there are alpaca farms in Canada or Singapore?
We started seeing signs for an alpaca farm. We passed the first sign and disregarded it. The second sign came and Matt looked interested, I was not comfortable leaving the road we knew to drive deeper into the woods on roads we had not been before. By the third sign, Matt was all in and promised we would turnaround no questions asked if I felt the least bit nervous. So off we went, down a road we had not traveled, in search of an alpaca farm.
Turned out to be so cute! Super clean, friendly people, fuzzy animals. Alpaca shaped cookies, alpaca yarn, alpaca coloring pages. And not 10 minutes away from the house! Who knew it was National Alpaca Week? The owners were all too happy to talk about all things alpaca.
No scary racist people in sight! See, I am constantly over thinking, over analyzing everything. Including our safety. It doesn't matter where we are, urban or rural, small city or big city, wherever we are in this country, we encounter people who see me and the girls as less than or if in my own community of color, a sellout. We get looks, we get called names, we get weird and inappropriate questions. I've been driving and almost ran off the road. If I'm in the passenger seat, other drivers curse at Matt. Not every time we walk out the door mind you, but enough times to make me weary about driving on unfamiliar back roads to an alpaca farm run by people we've never met. I want the girls to be brave and I also want them to be safe, and figuring out how to help them assess what's safe, who is trustworthy, and when they should take risks is an ongoing conversation and re-evaluation of our values and beliefs and capacity to believe in the innate goodness of most people.
Taking that road to the alpaca farm for Matt was a no-big-deal kind of decision from the first sign we drove past, and that itself is a certain level of privilege. For me, no less than 20 different scenarios played out in my mind by the time we hit that third sign about the possibilities in front of us. I'm glad we went, I'm glad I pushed beyond the fear and anxiety. And...I still look at jobs in other countries all the time! I wonder if there are alpaca farms in Canada or Singapore?
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